everlastinlove

2008-10-10T16:44:00.002+08:00

wooo.... its been kinnda long since i've last posted. kinda got really into my studies and stuff. feeling kinda sad now... very empty like i've just lost something so imp to me. things have really really been tough and yea i thought you were my fairytale a dream when i'm not sleeping. that wishes on a star really do exist, but once again lynnlong is proven WRONG YET AGAIN!!! go on gloat everybody... i'm good. i just dunno how to express how i really feel in words but i'm trying... ever felt like you have a horrible ulcer in you mouth and like someone comes unexpectedly in the dead of the night and holds you down and rubs salt really really hard and roughly on the ulcer. and you can't really do much but just cry and try to get yourself out of this mess. thats how my heart feels now i guess. theres like this super uber huge hole bleeding and i just can't see how everything can seem so beautiful when here i am hurting so much inside. i just wish i can stop and rewind time. but even then maybe i can't change anything too. now all i can do is just stand bare infront of god cos he knows me best and all but sometimes no matter how hard i try... this human part of me just feel very helpless and hopeless like even god doesn't care for me. right i think i gtg back to studying.........

man u won!!!

2008-05-22T13:16:00.004+08:00

yay. man u won!!! woo. we rock man. haha its like double happiness. lol haha. but david a didn't win american idol. damn you david c. arh... lol but anyway. haha didn't go to school cos like they wanted us to wash tables today so lame. zoa and cherie didn't go too. we were like i don't wanna go and like waste my time CLEANING tables. i mean i can like spend my time at home studying right. haha my darn house is like gonna be like renovated again. for the second time. WHAT! lol yesterday school sucked. like slacked 90% of the time. how stupid can they get.?! think i should go study. lol. time to slogggggg.............

2008-05-20T12:21:00.001+08:00

anyway to continue from where i left, the game was awesome. and we thank god for the loss. lol. i mean its not like we were out there to kill. not like some people who said just give them the prize cos they will win and all. and in the end didn't win. murphy is always around. hahahahahaha. mrs soon's logic. yesterday was damn fun eventhough my old injury came back again. haha lol. didn't go to school today, not really feeling well. all the pain and all. had a terrible nightmare. don wanna talk abt it. i'm coming close to my 100th post. well it took 3 over years. haha cos i don't blog alot. anyway gotta study now.

sports carnival

2008-05-19T17:59:00.004+08:00

today got up at 7 to go to the sfx sports carnival. played football even though we knew that we were one of the weaker teams. well true enough, drew 1 lost 3. but hey we didn't feel sad like totally. we were there to have fun not to ram into the other guys balls or whatever. to all smkchoir footballers 'GREAT GAME'! gotta run off to church. later

2008-05-16T16:10:00.003+08:00

'it's three words shared between two people... and it has one simple meaning.'
kinnda cool yea. lol don't really have much to say today. feel like theres something bothering me now. i don't know what too, an di don't intend to find out. but hey last sunday man u won the epl. good news. hope they win the champions too. soccer match on monday looking forward to it. go team SMKC!!! we're gonna kick your ass man. all you people out there, you better watch your back...... i'm coming for you. hahahahahaha

2008-05-15T17:33:00.002+08:00

Verse 1:You've got your friends and your places. That's where you feel the safest. don't you see. I'm standing here in the shadows, learning how to let love go, When it has to be free. You've got your castles in the clouds. You don't need me now.

Chorus: But if, you should ever fall, think you've lost it all. I will be there for you. And if you should lose your faith, the whole world turns away from you, baby. One thing's still true. (I will be there, 2x on chorus #3). I will be there for you.

Verse 2: I read the news in the paper, all the fear and the hatred. Baby, who can you trust? But I see the truth through the madness. Here's my love if you'll have it, but if you don't want that much, go as far as you can, as long as you know.
(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge: And if the time should come, when all you depend upon is gone, just look around and I'll be there.
(Repeat Chorus)

I will be there for you. -Jordin Sparks-

mid years

2008-05-15T17:10:00.004+08:00

mid years totally sucked. i really screwed it up. i fail everything exp english. i'm super upset with lit. i failed that too. 42/100. i can't believe it. i broke down and just like sobbed like some ass who didn't study. i really don't know how to put it but i don't think i have the strength to pull through o's. its just too scary and all. i don't know like damn intimidating. like its gonna eat me whole and all. i know its seems stupid but i'm just so terrified until i cannot take it. have been really hooked onto no air by jordin sparks and chris brown. i don't know what caught my attention but maybe its the tune. lol i'm just feeling too useless to say anything more now. i feel like jumping down and if i don't die i'll jump again. the pressure is on man.

No Air-JORDIN SPARKS & CHRIS BROWN
JORDIN
If I should die before I wake
It's cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like livin in a world with no air

CHRIS
I'm here alone didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I could make you understand

HOOK
But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe

CHORUS
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you aint there
Theres no air no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gone breathe without me
If you aint here I just can't breathe
Theres no air no airNo air air x4

CHRISI walked I ran I jumped I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
Theres no gravity to hold me down for real

JORDIN
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath but I survived
I don't know how but I don't even care

HOOK
But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe

CHORUS
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you aint there
Theres no air no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gone breathe without me
If you aint here I just can't breathe
Theres no air no airNo air air x4

i've been a really good girl

2008-04-29T17:00:00.006+08:00

lol. hope this years christmas would be good. thats if i work hard for my o's. haha i'm thinking too far. lol. went for some implus shopping with girlfriend and cherie just now. came across fox's warehouse sale. haha had a really great time. all you girls out there it ends on the 4th of may. quick!! haha feeling hungry and bored. dunno what to do. :) mid years sucks. had terrible cramps today just couldn't do my cheena paper left 3 whole questions blank. i just like blacked out. i was like woooo. giddy. was damn cold in the hall and its so ironic compared to the outside. must have been like over a 100 degrees out there man. lol this blog has been a happy post in a very long time. wonder whats wrong with me. haha people get pms during ahem and i get pms before, during i'm like so happy dunno why also. lol today's front page, walao that sicko. bloody bastard. which sick ass would lock their own daughter up and father 7 children with her!!!??? what. i mean so chi ko peh la. somemore for 24 years somemore. haha. but the girls out so thats what matters. feel like telling mommy not to shift out. miss all the memories i had here. small as it is my house is a great place to keep memories. so cosy, granted that it is messy at times but... haha should go study now. few photos

thats not me. its mei mei. lol

that is me. lol ain't i cute

2008-04-28T16:52:00.004+08:00

Love Me-Collin Raye
I read a note my Grandma wrote
Back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said
Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none
But I loved your
Grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter
And this is what it said:

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you . . .Love me

I read those words just hours before
my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you . . .Love me

And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you . . .Love me

my all time fave. maybe it the tune or something but i just love it. ever since i heard it for the first time. it kept ringing in my head today dunno why but ya. math sucks like major. i hated it. why is it so damn hard...!!!???

i know that the goal is to keep me from falling

2008-04-27T13:25:00.003+08:00

man u didn't win, but hey well done guy great game. bloody ref. suppose to have penalty one lor. anyway lampard's mom must be watching over them. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!!! no present unlike last year. things change. thanks for like letting me know i don't stand a chance in a very harsh way. i don know what could be worst. maybe god planned everything. thought i've tried to forget you even existed in my life, things and circumstances just kept reminding me of you. i really tried my best like totally tried my best. i have got no other way to do things anymore.

'what hurts the most, was being so close. and having so much to say, watching you walk away.'

must you always be so diabolical. you and your friend. both freaking bastards. sometimes i wonder why it hurts so much. maybe it cos i put in too much to take them all back. but if i had a choice to do things all over again i wouldn't change a thing i'd rather learn from all the falls you've caused and get up again stronger than ever and you'll see what a fool you were. fool as in not like stupid kind, cos you are obviously not. gifted so what. its what is inside you that matters most. not the grades that matter. now looking back, you've got loads to learn. MORALLY!

'true to your heart, you must be true to your heart thats when the heavens will part and baby shower you with my love.'

crazy game

2008-04-26T19:23:00.003+08:00

lampards mom died on thursday. thats sad. he will be missing the game today. the big game. btw man u and chelsea. maybe i will like be happy but man someone's mother died. right. crucial game today. if man u wins thats it we take the title. hope man u win. may god be with us today in everything we do. the we is man u. lol haha. tuition was okay. but like struggled to wake up at 8. lol hahaso humid today. can't take it. good luck man u. and good luck to all the little farts taking exams now including me. haha.

numba 87th post!!

2008-04-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

slow and steady wins the race eventhough i know theres no race. haha. lol. what the heck am i talking about. just heard from aaron that the youth group maybe disbanded. eventhough i know that they will never admit it but ever since girlfriend and i left, things changed. so i'm not too sure abt if it is a good thing we left or not. but ya one things for sure if we were there this would not happen. they won't admit it. i'm like having PMS now. dunno why also. have been really harsh towards cherie and have been eating like a pig these few days. should take a time out. maybe i'm just stressed. quote from the desiderata 'many fears are born of fatigue and loneliess.' this line is like so true. i've been feeling tired and like alone but yet not so alone. oh shit, maybe i'm dying. no la. but who knows right, god can take you away just like that(snap my finger). this young 8 year old boy just died today or yesterday i forgot. so young right. i was thinnking like what if i go suddenly. okay i need a time out. i'm too stressed. damn tomorrow tuition and gotta wake up at 8am!!! arh. haven been studying lately. feel like punching someone. anyone. EVERYONE!!! arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-24T17:18:00.007+08:00

oh oh. i composed this song for girlfriend and cherie. lol. touched? haha. what can i say, i'm a budding song writer. lol haha. i know girlfriend you are reading this and laughing right. haha isn't it so cute. hahaha. haven thought of the song title yet. anyone?

One two three four
Here I come
Five six seven
You are found
Eight nine and ten
Here we go all over again

You’ll be there by my side
This I know.

We will be friends forever
Friends together
Holding on so strong
Creates a bond
A bond so strong
Even men can’t break
We hold hand till the end
But our hands won’t ache.

Hey you and you
I love you too
Friends for life
Till we’re old
Friends like you
Are almost like as rare as gold

You’ll be there by my side
This I know.

Cos we are friend forever
Friends together
Held on to it
Created a bond
A bond so strong
Even men couldn’t break
We held hands till the end
But our hand didn’t ache.

Right now right here
I’ll give the angles back their wins
To save you a place in heaven.

Cos we will be friends forever
Friends together
Held on to it
Created a bond
A bond so strong
Even men couldn’t break
We held hands till the end
But our hands didn’t ache.
Our hands didn’t, won’t, and will never ache.

guys love you loads. my two beloved bananas and monkeys. together forever yea!!

school is gonna be over in a jiffy

2008-04-24T16:58:00.003+08:00

sigh. just like my title. school is going to be over in a jiffy. very soon its time for me to say bye bye to sjc. dunno to be happy or sad. like school has never been the best place to hang out but there were loads of memories carved deep in the hearts of it too. like am gonna really miss it. now i feel like crying. sniff. lol. really gonna miss cheerleading. eventhough it was never official. but it was so fun, all the fun we had had. all the times when we worried that we could not finish. looking back these 5 years have been really meaningful. sorry to those whom i have offended, never meant to. eventhough i can't blame myself for being not vertically challenged. haha i'm average. no la but really. very soon the school will be history. but you will always be somewhere deep in my hearts. o's are drawing nearer and nearer. suppose to be studying now and mugging like crazy but i just cannot seem to get down to it. lol speaking abt mugging. yesterday freeman borrowed zoa's dad's car to drive down to gardens to buy food. lol so hilarious la. first time everyone in the car wore seat belt. haha and we were holding on the the handle and were screaming almost all the way. haha i think mommy drives better than him. no offence huh freeman. you'r new la. so nvm. give you chance. haha the parking was funny though. took bloody 15mins to park la. walao. zoa and i screamed like some mad girls in the car. haha. okay think i should really study now.

post 84 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER!!!

2008-04-18T14:00:00.004+08:00

slowly and steady reaching 100. slowly by slowly. haha. lol. sick at home couldn't go to school. cherie called me at 7.26 this morning i think. or was i dreaming. lol. arms sore from doing pull ups. i don't know why also. did only 17 in all. so humid today. walao can't imagin what pe would be like today. maybe i would have gotten heat stroke. lol. gotta study now. its esther's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER!!! sorry wasn't in school today to wish you face to face. tomorrow is cheena oral. jia you everyone. may everyone pass with flying colours.

TALLER women tend to realise what it takes to be in a good relationship

2008-04-17T20:42:00.003+08:00

haha. taller. and i mean TALLER women tend to realise what it takes to be in a good relationship. haha cos now adays men are SHORT. which is kinnda sad. lol. had 5 batt today. was very sad abt my sbj and pull ups. walao. 165cm and 7 pull ups only! walao eh. everyone thinks that so long as you are tall can jump very far. i got phobia for jumping lor. cannot meh. lol. other than that its okay la. did 61 sit ups. sit and reach got 60. not bad la. shuttle run don't talk abt it. so disappointed with myself. arh. i noticed that everytime i'm frustrated, i tend to write songs. i don't know why but ya. maybe its my way of destress. and the songs are meaningful k. haha. cheena oral is this sat. feeling the pressure. today lao shi tested me and i use super loads of english la. speaking abt 5 batt. last night was studying and freeman came to talk for awhile. and like we tried to do standing board jump and cos the floor was slippery freeman like slide while trying to jump. so hilarious. laughed like siao. until i cannot laugh anymore. just thinking abt how nice it would be to have like 30 hours aday to do more revision and study. cos like everyone O' LVLS is COMING!!! arhhhhhh!!! scared scared. saya takut( if that is how it is spelled.) kinnda want o's to faster come and go than on the other hand, i'm not prepared yet. not abit. tomorrow is esther's birthday. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! in advance. haha

to love is to risk not being loved back(or something like that)

2008-04-15T17:59:00.003+08:00

something i heard on somedays reflection. kinda like the only line i heard. the others were like blurred out. just came back from charismatic retreat on sunday. like was loads of fun. even though the games were darn short. but. you know. it was the togetherness and all. kinda got spooked out on the first night, like the exact room we took last year had the same exact spooky thing. but we didn't take that room. like aunty cat was like who is using my toilet and we were like no. no one is there. than she was like 'huh!! than whos in my toilet?' and we were like right freaky. zoa la. walk in front say wanna open the door and all. than got scared and ask emile to open. haha emile got scared but still opened the door for us femals. haha what a gentleman. lol and the toilet was like dark la and the tap was flowing rapidly. but the funny thing was that aunty cat and aunty alice tried to open the door but they said it was stuck. and emile opened it with ease. so we kinnda got freaked esp at night when aunty ****** was sleep talking. shan't say her name but ya. and naomi was like squeezing me against zoa. couldn't turn at all. came back with a back ache. damn pain la. anyway school is becoming a routine. day in and day out. the same darn thing. the pop today was great. felt the emotions. can't help but think what the heck am i doing with my life.

'its the love for you which keeps me going.'

2008-04-08T19:32:00.003+08:00

Cold
I’m frozen, frozen inside out
Couldn’t feel the heat no more
More like the cold cold winter during the summer
Became an Ice Queen
Evil diabolical and sinister

Once I felt it I shut it out
Never wanna feel it again
Closed from the world of love

All the cold, cold from my head to my heart
Never could feel the warmth anymore
It was two till it became
Became something more
Frozen by the fear
Which drained all of me
Once it was gone
Its all gone

Should head to the north or south pole
No sounds of love to pierce me
No warmth of love will change the heart of ice cos
I am an Ice Queen
Evil diabolical and sinister

Once I felt it I shut it out
Never wanna feel it again
Closed from the world of love

All the cold , cold from my head to my heart
Never could feel the warmth anymore
It was two till it became
Became something more
Frozen by the fear
Which drained all of me
Once it was gone
Its all gone

Now I’m left with nothing
But me myself and I
Have the power to withstand the cold

All the cold , cold from my head to my heart
Never could feel the warmth anymore
It was two till it became
Became something more
Frozen by the fear
Which drained all of me
Once it was gone
Its all gone

It became something more
Frozen by that fear
Which drained all of me
Once it was gone
Its all gone
Its all really gone

really glad i didn't tell the entire world that i changed mt blog add. tag board really silent now. an eerie slience now. but whatever the case. i feel this song really reflects what i'm going through now. but for now i just need to learn to stand on my own feet. be strong and fight the pain. regardless of how painful it may seem.

2008-04-07T17:43:00.003+08:00

had loads of fun today in school. mrs tan didn't come which was kinnda sad but... oh well. was like playing during lit class. talking bout loads of things. abt 'i am legend' and 'resident evil' and all. had so much fun trying to copy the zombies. laughed like siao. haha. cherie joker la. stop hitting people's boobs can. very pain leh. later out of shape you pay meh!!!??? lol. having tuition later, kinnda dreading it. but what to do. o's this year. lol dunno why am feeling so much pressure now, maybe its just me but what if its not? huh huh? what if its not. see there i go again. acting the goat. haha lol. nothing really much to say today anyway. lol

curse the bloody rubik's cube.

2008-04-04T15:35:00.004+08:00

lol trying to do the damn rubik's cube. only can do one side. but very fast. trying to do the whole thing but always failed. lol nvm try again. now the cube is like staring at me. lol should try it now. haha. school this week sucks. like really sucks. but hey its sec 5, o's now. gotta study hard. i hate monitor, like why must everyone show attitude la. like i'm just trying. can't take it that i'm like actually trying and you like don't see it and don't care. like f off. arh. i feel this sudden urge to get god back into my life. but the unworthyness i once had is now back. like i don't think he wants to see me like that kinnda thing. i mean we have to be pure right. but than people say he forgives. who am i to say he doesn't? lol last night i came back in a cab and the uncle was like oh all catholics have to do when they do wrong was just ask for forgiveness. than he was like so loser and i'm like what the hell. like you so didn't say that. like he knew i was catholic and all but whos' the loser. LOSER la uncle. don't go around comparing can. who do you think you are? anyway. i just feel so glad that the weekend is here, feel like going to see mama. see how is she and all. and tomorrow i've got dental. miss dental la. like after i took out my braces my appointment is like once every 3 months. and it used to be 1 month. miss the going out so much. i realise i miss alot of things lately. i don't know why. but one things for sure for easter the feeling was just great like we as in (zoa, claire and i) sang for vigil and even though i didn't want to see what i saw and was abit down by it, the whole choir just took my mind away from everything. the choir was just amazing. like amazing. amazing. ya. like just felt the whole easter thing at the bottom of my heart felt so warm. so, whats the word. well just amazing.lol

choir. the other picture was so unglam. theres victoria and zoa and clarissa and whats her name again and theres me. see see.

and i just realised that the teeth movie is damn freaky. now i know why its r21. so scary. i'm scared. arh. don't watch it to all you girls out there. freak out man. like really.

2008-03-29T15:09:00.002+08:00

lol. missed ac today. got got mc. haha it rhymes. lol fighting with matilda now. lol snatching her mashmellow. lol haha she's screaming so loudly 'jiejie, timme(gimme) back the tweet(sweet) my teter(teacher) give me you know.' timme(gimme) back!!! don't pull will bleak(break).' haha. she can't really pronounce her words well when she's screaming. lol later maybe heading off to dai yee's house to bake cookies for mama. than going to visit her. cos she just came back from some cataract operation of some sort. and mommy didn't tell me. well i don't blame her, cos she wants me to study. don't think my throat is gonna get any better, judging from my voice. sound so sexy. lol. hahaha. really pissed abt chew fern. giving me loads of hell now cos of the skirts. but at most give up my torphy la. no biggie. lol but like to angie it seems big. but if it is really lost than its my fault right. lol not gonna let this get in my way. lol feeling kinnda happy today. lol. even though the sun is not really that bright. lol kinnda dreamt of god last night. but not too sure of what really happened. slept through the whole night until mommy woke me up at like 530 to ask me some lame stuff. lol lame family do lame things. haha. i feel the absence of the holy one from my life now. feeling the full force, and am not liking it. is it all gone? i need him to tell me how to go back. does it have to be that hard??

Bleeding Love
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding Keep,
keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rest that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open
And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and
I Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

아주 쓸모 없 느끼기

2008-03-28T13:55:00.001+08:00

모두는 아주 더럽다 왜 그것이 인지. 나의 생활, 모두. 더 이상 나의 방법 그것에게 다만 가지 않기. 것 같이 진짜로 빠십시오. 그것은 왜 나 아주 비고 비게 느끼십시오 인가? 나가 느끼는 처럼 나의 심혼은 언다. 그것 더 이상 거기. 어쩌면 그것은 다만 저이다 그러나 무엇 만약에 그것 아닙니다?! 만약에 그것에 더 많은 것이 있으면 무엇? 그것은 왜 나가 나가 이렇게 싫증날, 병자를 이렇게 느끼는 당신을 생각할 때마다 그 인가? 왜? 저 지금 그것에게 얻기! 나는 나의 생활 뒤를 원한다! 나는 그것을 지금 후에 원한다!

life now and back then

2008-03-28T12:24:00.002+08:00

didn't go to school today. and cos of that am feeling the pressure of o's now. like should have gone la. but anyway, whats done is done. trying to look for the real me now. haven actually found it yet. hope it comes real soon. like i never wanted things to turn out this way but ya. now i gotta start from scratch. my calculator died on me a few days back. damn suay. haven gotten it fixed yet. don't know what am i waiting for. haha. have been missing mass lately. like i cannot get in touch with god anymore. there no light at the end and i can't seem to know where i'm heading. i somehow don't feel god's precence and i don't feel his love anymore. it's already end march and i know that if i don't find him, my o's are a goner. why is it that everything is turning out this way. why must life be this tough. why? i really really want the happiness i had last time when i could feel god strongly in my life. is it all gone now?

2008-03-26T20:14:00.002+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way,
to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust Not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

-BECAUSE OF YOU- Kelly Clarkson.

its all so clear now. where i stand and where you stand.

2008-03-26T20:07:00.002+08:00

for now, i've decided that this blog will hereby come back to life. haha. lol. this will be my path towards o'lvls. i have been wondering what if i become a les, like ya i know its against my religion but what if. lol haha. clair and zoa and cherie shuddup. haha. stress is already on full power now. don't know if i can keep up with it. like o'lvls seem to be so huge. ya it is la but like why is it that during o's everyone feels like that? it is not like it is what you will be like in the future. you are only chionging for now. and to think those bosses out there see results. they should see overall mah! walao than we must study like that. i find it so hard to juggle school, homework, tuition, home affairs. why? why is this so hard. like its harder than math!! arh. now my dad is nagging abt me. arh. what the hell. yayaya.

miss you

2008-03-22T17:55:00.002+08:00

all my life i have been bugging my parents to shift house. maybe it was just the childish thought of mine that living in the same house all my life is 'embarrasing'. just yesterday mommy told me that we were going to move cos daddy finally thinks that the house is too small. shifting to somewhere in gardens or near corinne's. i don't know why but i suddenly feel like not leaving this house. i've stayed here all my life and after 17 years i'm leaving this place. i feel kinda sad. no check that i feel very sad. i don't wanna leave. but maybe sometimes in life things change. i just look around my room and i see my life. i see the moments i cried here, the times i had friends over sharing my joy. well i guess these times end. my mind is in a whirl. so many things are ending now. why? why now? i feel like i screwed so many things up. i feel very empty now. like god damn it!!! argh!

2008-03-21T23:02:00.002+08:00

right loads of thing have been happening here like forever. uh point one since when did you come to my blog. point two thank you for using your real name cos i never said it was you, people just suspect cos of certain thing you do.(not trying to imply anything) point three don't and i mean DON'T ever EVER come to my blog and inslut my friends like that. EVER. cos that ain't okay with me. you don't have the right to spell things out for people to know. and since you say the whole church knows than why say it since people already know. point four don't tell others to buck up on their english when yours is as bad. 'den' when its suppose to be 'then', 'ppl' when its suppose to be 'people', 'noes' when its suppose to be 'knows'. really i've got nothing and have never had anything against you. really. i just don't know why everything is like that now. just do me a favour, don't come to my blog and tag anymore. if you wanna read just do it but keep your comments to yourself. thanks a bunch.

sentosa

2007-11-19T10:26:00.000+08:00

wish i had the pictures to upload but its not with me now. but the trip to sentosa was awesome. was suppose to be a class renuion but it ended up as just the 3 of us. zoa cherie and me. went to the cafe, which totally rocks. but the drinks were so ex. 7 for a bottle of water. cherie's got guts. shes dame brave la. cos not even zoa and i dared to do what she did. went tanning. and cherie stayed in the sun for so long. now shes burnt. lol told you so. cherie brought her first bikini. woo. lol we took loads of pictures, cherie kept saying i looked like a porn star. lol this kind of outing rocks. lol

holiday

2007-10-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

holidays have officially began. even though i started holidays so long ago. even if it is the holidays, it is still super tiring. gotta help out in the shop and stuff. hardly get any rest. life is even harder when you gotta learn so many new things in a short period of time. but i feel like if i try hard enough and if i really wanna do it , i will suceed. pray lord jesus help me overcome these shit.

2007-10-16T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's over,
never thought it would be.
Why in the world did this happen to me?
How could I let the sweetest of dreams slip away?
And I'm afraid the hurt is here to stay.
I go round and round and round in my head,
Wanting to take back whatever I said,
No one was right,
We all made mistakes,
I'm ready to do whatever it takes.
Please, don't let it be
-It's Over- The Cheetah Girls

Na na na na
Na na na na yeah
You are the music in me
You know the words
Once upon a time
Make you listen?
There's a reason.

When you dream there's a chance you'll find
A little laughter
or happy ever after

Your harmony to the melody
It's echoing inside my head

A single voice (Single voice)
Above the noise

And like a common thread
Hmm, you're pulling me
When I hear my favorite song
I know that we belong
Oh, you are the music in me
Yeah it's living in all of us
And it's brought us here because
Because you are the music in me

Na na na na (Ohh)
Na na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah
(Na na na na)
You are the music in me
It's like I knew you before we met (Before we met)
Can't explain it (Ohh ohh)
There's no name for it (No name for it)
I'm saying words I never said
And it was easy (So easy)
Because you see the real me (I see)
As I amYou understand
And that's more than I've ever known

To hear your voice (Hear your voice)
Above the noise (Ohh ohh)

And know I'm not alone

Oh you're singing to me (Ohh yeah)
When I hear my favorite song
I know that we belong (Yeah ohh)
You are the music in me
It's living in all of us
And it's brought us here because
You are the music in me
Together we're gonna sing (Yeah)
We got the power to sing what we feel (What we feel)

Connected and real
Can't keep it all inside (Ohh)

Na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Na na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah (Na na na na)

You are the music in me (In me)
[Chorus]
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Na na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Na na na na
You are the music in me
When I hear my favorite song (Favorite song)
I know that we belong (We belong)
You are the music in me
Yeah it's living in all of us
It's brought us here because (Here because)
You are the music in me
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)
Na na na na
You are the music in me (Yeah)
-You are the music in me- High School Musical2

right its been some time since i've updated. exams ended and i'm supeer slack now. not really slack rather its boring. life is super boring. i've got nothing to do. the above 2 songs are constantly ringing again and again in my head and i don't really know why but like maybe its just me but i feel this unimaginable saddness in my body. like every inch of me is sad. i got this urge to cry out loud. i cut it up. i cut it up like 2 nights ago. selfish fool, two face freak, like he forces you to do something you hate. if you look close enough you'll see that he looks weird just the way he is. IT'S OVER!! argh. i feel like last time i thought i knew i was very sure where i would head. now i'm lost. why? like when i start to live for someone i've always wanted and more. everything turns out wrong. sometimes now i feel that losing my way is good, like the best thing which could have happened.

life these days

2007-09-23T14:29:00.000+08:00

am i lucky or am i lucky. I'M GONNA KOREA!! i mean seriously, i couldn't go for all the years i was in secondary school cos i had many and i mean many records. but this year its different. woohoo. i feel so proud of myself i feel like crying. sniff... lol drama. okay lets give him a name Jo. so one day a girl was on her way to school and Jo sat beside her as usual. but they don't talk. so on that day when she got off the bus he and his friend got off too cos its their stop too. duh. okay but they sat down at the stop which they don't usually do cos they walk to school. then when this girl boarded her other bus they got up and walk away. right girlfriend you know what i'm talkin about. lol. haha

start of something new

2007-09-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

my start of something new is not like that in the movie but that daddy and mummy have officially started the shop and though it is tiring its worth it just to make my parents happy. we had some problems with the locks but other than that nothing much happened. the shop is still rather bare cos uncle and aunty just cleared the stocks and more are coming in. i remembered that when i was 'dealing' with the lock we just couldn't seem to get it in to position. and i took over and just before i slammed the gate down i was like holy spirit help me. and man did it work. at that point i was happy and than the pain set in. i could not hold the gate down for long. and my dad was trying to get to me fast i felt my hands shake and remembered how heavy it was. oh and the ice cream container's chain was out of place and i had to put my hand under the container and put the chain right and the rust all got on to my hand and i remember how disgusted i felt but i knew i couldn't complain, didn't want my parents to worry. speaking about worrying, last night i told daddy to wake me up at 430 so i could go down with them and help. i remembered waking to the sound of kakak voice saying it was 6 and i was like huh 6 already. and i rushed to change and wash up and went down in a few minutes and i ask why they did not wake me up and my mom said they wanted me to sleep more. frankly i was touched, no truth is yes, very touched. my mom didn;t wanna wake me up cos i was gonna have my exams coming up. but sometimes they've gotta rest too. they'v got their jobs to handle too. so from now on i gotta try be more responsible. help them even when they do not need help.

mad girl

2007-09-15T10:20:00.000+08:00

okay this happen like yesterday. this unnamed girl practically went mad, a sin not literally la but like come on. we were in the gym and i told her to move in front abit and she shouted to ah lum to move infront and ah lum said she couldn't cos the people infront had no space. so i sat down and i said stop it children. so this is the start of the madness and like later when i asked zoa if n's were gonna be held in the hall cos like o's may be on too. then before zoa answered she turned around shouting 'yes n's will be held in the hall.' and i was like what the heck is wrong with you. and she was like whats wrong with me. and back in class she was like i don wanna sit beside you and i was like fine than you can move. and she moved to some other girls table and started crying and started telling people what happened but zoa said that she was spinning another story but heck and she told lao zhang and ms teo and lao zhang came to talk to me and zoa was like find out before you say anything. i didn't have the mood to talk to her cos like if she talks to me its like as if i'm in the wrong and she was like since you guys are class mates don't be like that and i was like why you telling me i'm not in the wrong, i'm not the mad one. go tell the freako. and she seriously can't talk she let her emotions overcome her and caused me zoa and cherie to be late. she can't even convince a teacher to let them sign the form eariler and zoa and i can. talk about an ass she is one heck of an ass. i mean the reason i'm writing this is cos no one in school has my url but even if they happen to come across my blog, heck! lol

philippines

2007-09-12T20:34:00.000+08:00

in mid nov we, ijym, organised a trip to the philippines and when sherlyn asked us why we wanted to go, all and i mean all exp the ijym members said they wanted to help. but i thought it was a stupid answer cos like we can't do anything to help. people have been going there to help for years and its almost the same as now. i was thinking of what answer to give and i just ask god to tell me the reason why i wanted to go. and i said cos i just wanted to see the smile on their faces. sherlyn told us the kids treat us like queens and princesses. lol imagin. but sherlyn also said that the kids there have kutus in their heads and i was like what the heck, if i get it than get it la. its not like i've never gotten them before. in sec 2, mei mei had them from some kid in school and like i was the first one to find out she had those things. cos she was like jie jei itchy and when i saw those tiny eggs i was like what the ****. and the night before, she slept on my bed with me. i freaked out but we have the technology to get rid of them without cutting our hair and they don't. okay, now as i was saying, they maybe kids but their humans too. 6 year old kids should not be going out there looking for food. imagin yourself doing that at that age. everyone deserves to lead a good life like we do. some of us think 'oh, my life is so bad and this and that.' but we don't realise that there are people out there as good as us but don't have the chance to show the world. some kids living in the dumpsite maybe as clever as those in RI or RGS. they maybe as bright but just lack education. so people out there, live your life well for there are other who wanna learn but don't have the chance. so give life your best shot, do the right thing.

countdown

2007-09-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

today it 19 days to the other half of n's. maybe i'm being an ass or something but i'm very very worried for my english. i donno why but i've got no faith in my letter writing. i feel so much doubt in my heart and mind. so many things are happening but its like nothing is happening. its like everytime i turn another corner turn to gray. sometimes i just feel like crying so bad but control myself cos crying means weakness. not that its bad being weak but i don like the feeling of weakness. i remember reading an email which says follow your dreams and just take your time. i'm just wondering if my mom would let me follow my dreams. she wants me to go on to uni but i'm worried that i'll let my parents down. few weeks ago i spoke with ahyi and she reminded me about how much my parents love me and cared for me. recalling last time my dad would fetch me from kindergarten either my walking or driving if he walked there he would carry me until i was 6. and at 6 i was tall i mean for my age. everyone should cherish what they have now if not one day when they are gone you'll regret it.

brothers and sisters

2007-09-07T12:08:00.000+08:00

3 days of exams, major exams. and 2 days rest. yea right rest. going out is rest. not. still super tired. going to sentosa today, later. yesterday went bowling and watched movie with mommy. evan almighty rocks. 'if you ask god to give you strength, he won't give it to you. but he will give you opportunities to be strong.' or 'if you ask god for the family to be close, will he give you warm feeling, fuzzy? no. he will give you opportunities to be close.' come to think about family closeness, when i was younger i use to fight with gabriel for the slightest reason like he took my doll or something and we would like fight like kick and punch that kind of thing. and everytime i ask him to help me take something or whatever he wouldn't. but now i realise how close we've become and like at night when i ask him to close the curtain he would do it. or sometimes i wanna sleep on top and tell him to get off in a rude way he would still get off. maybe as we grow older we understand better and help each other. evan almighty rocks, his oldest son is soooo sooo cute!!

2007-08-30T17:01:00.000+08:00

now its 5.02pm which means its 4days and 6 hours and 58 mins left to the first n paper. man its super stressful. i mean i've got so much on my mind now, zoa studies, family and so many others. talkin about zoa. i realised how much hurt she must feel now all because of some guy. i mean she could have prevented it, it was all in her hands. now thinking back i should have tried harder. up till now i haven told her anything and i feel guilty. i should have been there for her. i should have tried harder to make her stop whatever she was doing. i don't know why is it that last time when i ask her a few questions she would deny them and now she admits. i wonder why is she doing this to herself. firstly its not fair and secondly its not right. even if it means getting insulted by anyone i've gotta try. at least i've tried and i won't regret it. i can see deep down inside she is hurt and upset but she just keeps on smiling and telling me and cherie that she's fine. just in the bus today after zoa left cherie and i were talking. we recalled how we saw many changes in her like the before and after kinnda thing and now she's changing again. i have to admit it the zoa now is definatly happier and the zoa i really wanna hang out with. *girlfriend if you need me, i'll just be a phone call away. i'll try to pick up the phone. lol do well for n's. love ya.*

2007-08-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

Without love
Life is like the seasons with
No summer
Without love
Life is rock 'n' roll without
A drummer
Darling, i'll be yours forever
'Cause I never wanna be
Without love
Darling, never set me free
No, i ain't lyin'
Never set me free, darling,
No, no, no!!
In my ivory tower
Life was just a hostess snack
But now i'm so in love with you
i'm never going back

'Cause without love
Life is like a beat that you can't follow
Without love
Life is doris day at the Apollo
Darling, i'll be yours forever
'Cause i never wanna be
Without love
So darlin never set me free

Oh, I'm yours forever
Never set me free
No, no, no!

Darling, i've got to break out
So that i can get my hands on you

And boy, if i can't touch you
and i'm gonna lose control

Darling, you're my black white knight
I've found my blue-eyed soul

Sweet freedom is our goal

'Cause without love
Life is like a prom that won't invite us
Without love
Life's getting my big break and laryngitis
Without love
Life's a '45' when you can't buy it
Without love
Life is like my mother on a diet

Like a week that's only mondays
Only ice cream never sundaes
Like a circle with no center
Like a door marked "do not enter!"

Darlin i'll be yours forever
'Cause i never wanna be
Without love
now you've captured me
without love
I surrender happily
without love
Oh darling never set me free
no no no
I ain't lying
never set me free
no no no
no i don't wanna live
without love
Darlin you have best believed me,
never leave me
without love
Without Love (edited)- Hairspray

watch hairspray on saturday. its totally awesome i mean seriously zac is super cute his like the omg kinnda thing. lol but now i'm so back to the studying kinnda mood and i hate it. help me someone help me!!

exams

2007-08-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

exactly one week to the 1st paper of n's, somehow i'm like super scared but i dunno what to do. i know i'm not stupid or slow, i'm just lazy. gosh hate that word. i feel i can't do ss and chinese. and i'm worried i can't do my english well enough. i feel like i'm not putting enough effort not enough time. i'm like super hopeless. parents are out of town and want me to take care of kids and studies. how?? how?? why is it that they don't understand my stress. i don wanna go to ite. never. PERIOD. there is no way am i gonna step in there. put it this way i'll rather jump of the building than go to ite or retain. can you imagin the shame?? can you imagin the time wasted?? i just hate talking about studies or the stress i'm feeling, cos this other feeling inside which is something like feeling like crying comes so strongly. sometimes i feel like going back to cut myself. but i know its not the right way cos its stupid. there should be other ways of handling stress. DUH you fool. i wish i were a clever person and never need to worry about stress or studies or relationship problems.

can't take it no more

2007-08-19T18:52:00.000+08:00

argh i can't take it, this is the newest post since i dunno when. lol anyway i didn't score too well... no check that i did not score well at all for prelims. i'm kinnda sad abt lit and ss and math. can't believe i passed paper2. i mean i NEVER NEVER PASSED paper 2 before. but god dame it i fail the dame f****** paper 1 by 2 marks. waaaa, lit i got b4... B4 and i always do well in lit one lor. how to go on to sec 5. bio got quite good 39 but chem pulled me down dame it. arhhh stress i'm gonna die i'm gonna die ARGHHHHH!!!!

if you know the code please don't say anything. thanks

2007-07-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

4 873 86 84465 8428 4 927 62737733 9484 968. 288 9436 4 73254733 4 732559 56833 968, 4 36863 48 327437 86 538 968 46. 62923 481762923 4817 238837 8428 929. 288 38379 64448 4 7729 3696 66 236333 5633. 8428 968 9455 23 69 3837984464. 267 9687 774748 78557 63 8476844 9436 6684464 3573 3637. 4 5683 968. 9474 968155 5669 8428.

Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last, some how
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here, waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end, if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here, waiting for you
Waiting for you

my birthday

2007-07-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

wee. just passed my 16th birthday and it was so totally cool. on sunday we (gabriel and i) celebrated our birthday together. like 7 people came. as in outside friends. julia, aaron, mad, emile, anna, shaun, gareth. and the best part corinne was here. like duh, i'm like her most beloved cousin. lol. like at first we were eating and we couldn't decide on where to go or what to do. cos like before that we went for soccer and some of us were kinnda tired. i got freaking hit on my boob. argh. can't believe it man. you know how much it hurts? anyway in the end we went down and mad julia and aaron and i played catching with corinne and all the younger kids. was dame fun. in the end emile anna ahaun and gareth joined in. oh and when aaron started chasing corinne we were like, 'oi gareth's gonna hit you!' lol. it was just so surprising that we, most of us lost to younger kids. they seem to have like endless amount of energy. anyway we played until like 9 i think. then went up to cut cake. everyone was so shagged. ecp the kids. guess what when we were cutting the cake gareth was sitting infront of corinne. lol got quite a number of pictures of that anyway... lol... well over all it was a nice birthday, had lot6s of memories lol... as a child.

2007-06-30T12:11:00.000+08:00

YOU HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT
[Dedicated to Thaddeus Cheong]
composed & written by Trevor Nerva & Jonathan Wong

You are our brother,
You are our friend
All the times we've shared together
We wish they'd never end
Now that you're gone
We will miss your presence dearly
With each passing day
We'll think of you and pray...

You have fought the good fight
You have run and finish the race
You have kept the faith
Now you see God face to face
Now you see God face to face

Peace be with you,
as you make your journey home
And whene'er we pray together
We'll feel your spirit too
We'll still feel your smile
Through your warm embraces
You have touched our lives
And hearts in a special way
And when the night has ended
We'll see the dawn come through
Our brokenness all mended
We'll see God's love shining through

We will fight the good fight
We will run and finish the race
We will keep the faith
We will see God face to face
Then we'll see God face to face

yesterday's funeral

2007-06-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

yesterday was thaddeus's funeral or rather the last 100m dash to eternal life. at 330 everyone was gathered at church for the mass. many people turned up in pink which was thaddeus's fav colour. in fact the whole church was filled. it was the most crowded funeral mass i've ever been too. i remember crying during homily because of what father said abt thaddeus. all the way until mass ended we were still crying. 5 buses were outside ready to bring us to mandai and when we were at the viewing room ben was crying really badly and i was with her all the way. i couldn't help but cry too cos it hurt to see my friend so sad. as thad finished the last part of the 'race' everyone in the room started clapping and cheering ' go thaddeus do' for a whole minute. i felt so touch. then once more the coffin started to move inwards and ben lurged forward all i could do was to hold her tight and cry with her. she was so unstable when we were moving out to go back to his house. then on the way back i held ben's hands and i finally spoke up abt what had happened earlier. she ended up laughing. why do people always laugh at me...hmmm... okay... by the time we got off the bus... well thats another story... RIP Thaddeus Cheong. you'll be missed always. watch over us all.
loves

thaddeus cheong

2007-06-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

today's post is dedicated to thaddeus and his family esp ben and all. just wanna say that when i was at your house, i saw people who were all so close to you trying to be strong but sometimes human power fails and they end up crying. it really shows how much you, thaddeus, you were missed.
when i was hugging ben i felt her shaky arms resting on my sweaty back and she was sobbing. the youth group was there with her and almost all were crying. i closed my eyes thinking how life can be so meaningful when we live it like how thaddeus lived his. tears rolled down my cheek as i thought about how shitty my life was. well at least thaddeus went with pride, doing what he loved. but me, will i go with pride? will i be doing what i love when i go home. i was crying because of this and at the same time cos i feel ben's pain. i lost a sister at 7. as i was returning home from school i remember asking daddy how the baby was. 'baby's gone.' daddy answered in a tone i never heard before. 'huh go where? will she come back?' i ask innocently. my dad just shook his head and i knew from then on i'll never see my lil' sister again. when i got home mommy didn't look sad or whatever she just smiled took my hands and just took me for dinner and my bath.
i didn't ask anything or say anything. i didn't cry nor did i smile. i just didn't feel like doing anything. as years went on, i remember once i made mommy really mad and ahyi was talking to me andi didn't know how we came upon this topic but she told me that mommy will cry on that day on every year. talk about knowing my mom well.

well todays lesson is cherish all you have today and you won't regreat. hold it close to your heart and it'll always be there.

love you lil' sis

bev's birthday

2007-06-18T10:39:00.000+08:00

yesterday we celebrated beverly's birthday and it was superb...aaron asked me the night before to buy her cake and i could have done it if not because i had to help with charismatic canteen. in the end thomas had to go buy the cake. well anyway, when we brought the cake into the room beverly was like shocked and she thought it was someone elses birthday and was clapping away. then i was like ' it for you beverly you dummy' she was like oh and she began laughing. man was so nice to see her expression. it was the shocked and happy at the same time kinnda face. lol. well after that i was suppose to go with tata and rinn to some concert but at the last minute daddy said we could not go. so we ended up disappointing tata. which was something i never wanted to do. sorry tata. love you anyway. so i went to julia's house to play pool with a few guys and we had to leave the pool room cos someone booked the room. so we tried to get julia to go to the club to play but she refused so we ended up going to her house to chill. we had fun watching pirates number 2. oh oh and her mom makes super good food. and coffee too. i wanted to watch the part where swan made out with sparrow but stupid thomas heng dunno how to forward and missed the part. so i went back at about 4+ and mommy was watching jingshun which she watched so many times already. i ended up sleeping lol... woke up for dinner at about 9 and went back to sleep...

fishing

2007-06-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

planning for another fishing trip again next tuesday, freaking afraid i'll get burnt again, didn't like the other one cos until now its still peeling and i look like i have some sickness or whatever. freaking out cos of that. lol, but the next trip would definately be better cos like we're gonna be more prepared and mommy is gonna make some food i mean not like we didn't have food the other time but ahyi brought food for us and we had to wait so long for it. lol water was another issue too. we had to go to the resturant to buy drinks, i didn't go i was busy fishing, lol.only the guys went and our crab trap got stuck three times can you believe it. corinne's fishing line got stuck in some people's trap and another time it got stuck in the rocks. unlucky hey. lol and anyway gareth threw away our crabs poor thing. lol

life during the holidays

2007-06-06T14:40:00.000+08:00

its been 12 days since holidays started and i've been doing math math math and more math. shoot i've been doing so much math that i've finished all my holiday homework... impressive hey... lol... and just for the record, i came home yesterday and found out my house was actually almost burned down... cos gabriel 'didn't see and smell' the smoke and couldn't hear our neighbour knocking on our door cos there was so much smoke. i came home and the house smelled like some burned shit, and until now it still does... dumb ass...

a voice keeps sayin'

2007-05-31T13:05:00.000+08:00

for the past few days i've been hearing a voice which keeps saying that this is where i'm meant to be. life has been super hactic and like everytime i try to concentrate on whatever i'm suppose to do people around me don't seem to see i'm putting and giving my best. but somehow yesterday at scc a line which struck me was a line on patience and maybe what i have to do is just be patient. and don't push or hurry the people around me into believeing that i'm trying my best, because they will see it sooner or later. maybe for the past half year yes i did go to church for study just that maybe i didn't carry on practicing and doing what i have to do. maybe its just loads of peer pressure. which 'forced' me to go and the feeling of wanting to feel accepted. maybe i just have to learn that if people really love me they'll accept me for who i am. thats why the line 'this is where i'm meant to be.' i just have to be where i am now and not else where or rather something else. i am what i am and you'll have to hate me or love me. pick one. :D

who am i

2007-05-30T12:27:00.000+08:00

Who am I,
that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I,
that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I amI am Yours,
I am Yours

Who Am I,
that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I,
that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

-Casting Crowns-"Who am I"

last thursday i went up on stage to be invested as vice president of ym, happy as i was i thought of the song above its like i'm so small and the lord would reach out to calm the storm in me. for the pass few years i didn't get invested maybe because i had lots of 'storms' going on in my life which caused me to be everything i shouldn't be. i'm just glad to be what i am today. cos when i go throught tough times, these tough times mould me to become strong and this is what i am, today. well i got a cert for a clean record for term 1 and 2 too. HAPPY!! yay... cos i never got it before, if i said how many betas i had you'll freak... lol... so many teachers came to congratulate me, teachers whom i never spoken to before congratulated me too... imagin how happy i was, i'm gonna work hard to get the next terms clean record... jia you!!

after retreat

2007-04-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

for the pass 3 day i was at the charismatic retreat and it was really really very enriching because there were so many meaningful talks and sharing... at first when we, anna,zoa,naomi and i entered the house we were super scared cos of all the ghost stories which were in our head... we even went to the restroom together... but as the day passed... the house didn't look as 'scary' as i thought it was... on sat morning i went to the toilet alone and when i came out anna was like... 'you not scared meh' and i was like 'early in the morning scared what..??' i mena slowly we were able to go to other places on our own... eg the upper level when everyone is downstairs or the toilet... maybe this shows that when you believe that god is with us there is nothing to be afraid of... on sat afternoon about 2, signs of rain was showing and we(zoa,naomi,emile and me) had games planned at 5... we were so scared and every thunder made us panic... so i kept to believeing that god will help us and told the rest to keep faith... at about 4 it started drizzling... so we kept praying and praying at 445 bright sun appeared and we were literally praising god... so everything went well everyone had fun and all... so uncle francis fetched me back and when we got to my block aunty clare told me to study hard... about studying hard i'm really worried about not being able to pass well for my exams... i really pray... i don't feel prepared for it...

feel super super _______ (fill in the blanks)

2007-03-28T21:22:00.000+08:00

living life in the fast lane... life seems to race you by when you don't notice... in a blink of an eye, its wednesday... coming to another weekend soon... good friday & easter jus around the corner another time for us to reflect on how much god loves us... like we should not backstab, gossip and tell tales... when jesus died on the cross he knew wad we would do how we would be like... and even how many hair would be lost each day... i feel so holy today... thats why i'm talking abt this...

released early

2007-03-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

today at school we had this paralitergy which caused us to miss 'ss' not that it was bad... cos we didn't exactly miss the lesson but we told miss teo that there would not be any lesson cos of the paralitergy and she was like okay... and today she was like 'u bluff me' that kinnda thing... but today she was like 'can we not have lesson today??' and we were like YAY long live miss teo that kinnda thing... so some of us gathered at the back and were listeninng to the songs miss teo brought to school... and we were hearing disney songs... we were singing like mad dogs la... but today was quite cool cos we were released early so i could come back and sleep!! YAY!!

school

2007-03-20T16:34:00.001+08:00

today is 20th of march 2007... lame... lolx... but yea i'm super bored and everyhing seems to be in the wrong place now... i'm confused... jus when i thought life... not... feaking school suck like hell... so boring... struggling to concentrate in school cos i know this year is an important year for me... esp during chem math and cheena... super boring... i went to school today with a ' shit man todays gonna be a really bad day.' maybe that was the wrong attitude la but wadever... cheena teacher is so so so so so so so irritating... one period and she spent like 3/4 of the time 'talkin' or rather craping abt how we make so much noise and it was until the time i said... ' lao shi ni yao jiang ke mah...' then she was like ' okay da kai ke ben...' i mean my parents dun pay school fees to let my listen to fei hua right... okay that is so much cheena in todays post but who cares...

past few weeks

2007-03-19T18:10:00.001+08:00

now for a start on friday i went to the police station to clear somethings up and there was this particular question which came to my mind after the whole incident... ' can a police officer be sued for calling a person a prostitute, calling the person stupid, shit face and using the 'f' word on that person...' it would be cool to find out man... okay enough of these things... life during the march holidays has been quite great esp during the ijym camp... made a whole lot more friends from other schools eg. ijtp, kc and stc... also got to know my school mates beter... there were these particular girls, vickiann, jas, ome and frm my school ori... and of course my girlfriend... that night we were all in my school's bunk telling ghost stories, rather listening to ghost stories... cos ori was telling the most awesome stories... we were so freaked out... i mean at some points la... there was this particular part where joclyn slamed open the door and i screamed as i saw the person had what it seemed to have no head... and jas pushed my head down and covered my mouth... man that was kinnda scary... but yea... then we all couldn't sleep cos we were tired but not sleepy... girlfriend was sleeping behind me and vickianna was on my other side... i lay on the bed talking to jas on how cute the guy frm the channel u drama was... we were talkin' over vickiann... which was kinnda uncomfortable cos we had to position our heads properly... ori was on the other side talkin' to her boyfriend... and ome was talkin so out of point that i got so fed up... but by 4 we all drifted off to sleep but i kept waking up for some reason... man i slept for only 3 hours... i woke up with a birdnest on my head... i mean not literally... lolx... well end of post...

praise god i believe!!

2007-02-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

second post today!! if it hadden been for something which happened to me or rather my dad, my siblings and me... i wouldn't be here... typing... but jus now when we were leaving to come home frm grams the truck jus wouldn't start... my dad was super frustrated and tried over and over again in vain to start the truck... and my siblings and i were praying and praying and i was like 'dad, let me try... u jus chill man...' and he was like 'huh you kiddin'... okay fine come here and turn like this... showing me how to turn it likei was some kindda idiot... and i was like... mother mary, holy spirit help me... and i shut my eyes and push the key backwards... and i heard the sound of the engine and it continuned rumbling and i knew i did it... i was so happy and i kept thanking every person i prayed to esp mother mary and the holy spirit... and well this is a great start for cheena i mean chinese(being nice for once) new year... haha lolx... thank you mother mary and holy spirit!!

cheena new year

2007-02-19T12:40:00.000+08:00

gong xi fa cai!! cheena new year was a blast!! my whole entire family frm my dad's side came and there were like wad 30-40 over ppl at my house we were playin' marjong and black jack!! man how much did i win frm black jack man... haha literally ripped out all the money frm gabriel... lol and yesterday was michael's birthday too... and he had an ice cream cake frm swensens i mean like omg first raphael had such a big cake which couldn't even fit into the fridge and then veron had a cake worth 50 plus and then michael had an ice cream cake frm swensens... and this year i'm 16 dame it... sweet 16 and i dun think my mom will even buy such a big cake for me... argh!! and way happy CHEENA new year!!

life over the past month

2007-02-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

life over the past month has been super hactic... i mean school and all the shit... all the new stuff we've been learning are so hard and shity... and this year is my n level year... i have to study so hard... but with all the lessons so boring... i dunno how i'm gonna cope man... chinese new year is coming in the next 18 days... so excited... all the hangbao and all... chinese new year is like more fun then christmas... i dunno why but maybe it is because of all the fun stuff we get to do before it like shopping shopping and more shopping... few more months to go and we are still not training for cheerleading... st. emile has started already... i won't be surprise if they win this year... but who cares... we're gonna train so hard that wad catherine girls do... woo

new year quite late

2007-01-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

it 5 days and 22.10 hours into the new year... hearing a great song now... called 'journey to the past'... the lines which strucked me the most were... ' heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me, don't turn back now that we're here... courage see me through, heart i trust in you, on this journey to my past...' its like telling me not to be afraid to look back at 2006... whereby alot of joy as well as shit took place... looking back on wad you've done may be good and bad... but i'd like to look on the bright side and so the song... and another line... ' home. love. family. there was once i must had them too, i'd never be complete until i find you... TRUE!! i have home&family... love too... but was gone... life is like a circle and like reuse. reduce and recycle... home. love. family... its like the cycle kinnda thing so the never be complete until i find them... or you... yea... as i finish typing the song ends... and now theres another great song... at the beginning with you... on new years eve's night... we were at anna's house celebrating... but my GIRLFRIEND wasn't there... some stupid guy asked her to go out for a stupid movie... so we wished happy new year to her on the phone... 'life is a road i wanna keep going... love is a river i wanna keep flowing life is a road now and forever wonderful journey... in the end i wanna be standing at the beginnig with you' wad de hell i'm like infering frm the song la... wa my lit improve la... SHOCKING!!! lol...

my dream!!

2006-12-19T16:02:00.000+08:00

i had a very nice dream last last night and when i told zoa and naomi they were both dame dame happy!! ... fulll stop... the end... u should know wad i'm talking about...(ZOA)

genting cum girlfriend's and veron's b'dae

2006-12-16T19:21:00.000+08:00

its been 12 days since i returned frm genting and this time i can say i had a blast and this was the only time my mom topped up so much for arcade and theam park... like the topping up paid off as we had 1000 points each to redeam gifts... and we went for late night games and shopping... man was that fun or was that fun... and when i came back i found out that he was going to canada... well leave it to fate then... lol... and then the next day was girlfriend's b'dae and we went to sentosa... the guys as in aaron, brandon and john were like total pang sehs they pang sehed us for the sec 2s can u believe it... i mean it was also brandon's party but couldn't they like at least stay with us till they came... but we had loads of fun la... we kept throwing sand at the guys and they threw back... anna and i got sand in our eyes quite a number of time and we were like screaming for our dear painful eyes... jon got hit in the balls by sand like 2 times and gareth and emile too the only one who didn't get hit was shaun and we girls were like trying to aim and were like shaun's the next one... but still didn't get hit... i got hit with sand on my boobs twice and i forgot who hit me... veron's b'dae party is today i mean its veron and gran's and there are so many people here now... just had my dinner and play some marjiong and it was not too bad... won afew and lost a few...

its gonna be a boring day!!!

2006-11-30T12:23:00.000+08:00

now its 1224 and i'm stuck at home updating my blog!! wad a day... i seriously need to go out and do some shopping... the trip to genting is in 3 day... will be leaving on st. francis xavier's actual feast day... so glad that the celebration is one day before... for the whole of next week life would be extra hectic... i mean after coming back frm genting the next day would be zoa's b'dae and i gotta wake up so early... i dun mind cos she's like my best girlfriend and zoa if u read this i'm so gonna buy u a big big pressy!! or do u want 'JUPITER' to be ur pressy!! lol secret code!! i would love to have 'MARS' as my christmas pressy!! lol could u help me get it??

how come i always get the scolding!!

2006-11-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

jus today i got a scolding, a slap and a few shoes raining down on me... and who did it?? ya my mom... i mean duh who else would do that... all cos i wore smt i should not wear... then i got banned frm going to church again for two weeks... cos i took the game boy away frm my brother... i mean i'm not in the wrong la... he played the game boy for such a long time and the batt went flat... then my mom said i could not go for mass and i was like i'm not in the wrong... so i could not agree to it... then now she wants to let me go to the tridum and i told her 11 will end and she was like i'll think abt it... i'm like wad de fuck la... seriously

its not as easy as i thought

2006-11-28T11:12:00.001+08:00

one year ago i swore i'd never like any guy anymore... why did a freaking big time flirt ever have to come by?? why?? i mean like why did i ever have to like like him?? its so stupid cos he doesn't even care... so of course i have to act like i didn't care too... but the truth is i care so much... when i try to forget him it seems so easy at first... but as the days past it appears to be an impossible task... 'like wad so hard abt forgetti getting a flirt' zoa have been telling me... and i'm like its not cos of the fact that he is a flirt that i can't forget him... it cos of smt else i like abt him that i can't forget him... and further more i don't wanna change the flirt cos its him... like i jus wanna keep him the way he is now... which is hard to deal with... cos it is still hard to see him flirt with girls in front of me... i mean its not that hard anymore but its still hard... if u get wad i mean.. lol

mad's BRITHDAY gathering

2006-11-27T14:36:00.000+08:00

we had so much fun at mad's house last thursday ... i mean cos like everyone was there and like the girls got dunked into the pool by the guys... zoa and i arrived there at like 1130 and we were watching disney playhouse with mad's little brother until the rest came... then we ate a little and then we went down zoa and i went down asap cos we wanted to hide frm the guys so as not to get dunked... i could have sworn i heard brandon and john's voice but then after squarting for such a long time we decided to stand up and head towards the pool... then we saw the three guys juming into the pool and we were like how the hell did they get pass us?? lol... anyway the guys (john, brandon, gareth and aaron) dunked kathy first... zoa and i were like holding on to each other like crazy... we were like don't touch her and don't touch me!! kinnda thing... then we saw zoa's crush... like we didn't expected to see him but he came with his friends and we didn't even know if he stayed there or not... zoa and i we were like OMG isn't that edward and we turned to look at each other and we were like its him... ltr we literally ran away frm the guys like we really ran luh... and after that we decided to ward in the pool... and brandon came and pull my whole body into the pool... i was like man those guys are strong... like i always thought they were like skinny and had no strength... lol... and zoa was busy protecting her hair... she was like 'DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR... NOT MY HAIR...!!' lol we had so much fun playing ball... and we had a basket ball in the pool and a soft ball... the guards came and confiscated the basket ball and we were like find... its reasonable... but then ltr they confiscated the soft ball and we were like WTH... and mad and zoa were wearing shirt and i was the only one in a bikini and how funny to see the two of them scrammbling under the bridge when the guards came... and i sat outside smiling at the guard looking like an idiot... after everything we went back to bath and went to mass... on the way to church john had to sit on brandon's lap... and like they were so super hilarious cos like john's got a sharp butt and he was sitting on brandon so ya... and brandon was like .... ' john jus stop moving and keep it that way' kinnda thing... lol it was fun la...
after mass naomi, zoa and i went back to mad's house to have dinner... then after that we went down to the pool and we intended to have moon tan but there were some irritating guys in the pool so we decided to go shoot hoops... and as we were walking off the guys were like 'OI wait wait... wait for us...' and we jus kept walking... then they shouted ' i like ur mama...' and we were like okay... right... and we said softly hey i like ur daddy... and then they said smt so shocking ' i like ur boobs' and we were like okay i like grapes but in ur case its rasins... lol.. we were totaly bimbotic luh... like to the max... then after shooting afew hoops the guys came and we were like okay lets go kinnda thing... then we sat under the stars and talking abt stuffs and then mad called thomas and like ya like he was in china and ya... then the guys walked pass us again... they were like saying to each other ' oi ur girlfriend'... then naomi's phone started ringing and we didn't know... and one guy was like ur phone is ringing and we were like yea right... and he was like seriously and we were like oh okay... lol... then like after they were 1 meter away frm us we were like laughing out loud cos their shorts were so small and tight... and they were like dun laugh so loud la... and i was like 'HAHA' like super loudly... and one of them were like 'HEHE' and then i was like 'WADEVER' we were like literally screaming at each other... lol... so much fun la...

wooo

2006-11-16T13:19:00.000+08:00

wooo 16 days to overseas trip... woo can't wait... i mean its gonna be so much fun... shopping shopping and more shopping... imagin all the things there man... wow... i mean all the stuff that i can buy... wooo... lol can't wait for the trip...

2006-11-13T21:01:00.001+08:00

for the pass few days, life has been so hactic!! i mean my mom ban me frm going to church and stuff!! and i guess life was never ever as perfect as i thought... for days and weeks and months, this persons name has been ringing through my ears... no matter how i try to stop it... its jus so hard... evertime i try, i seem to fail over and over again!! in the end i grow to have a deeper feeling for this person... and the only way to hide this, is to stop communicating with him... so frm the time this happened i did not talk or msg him... its hard... but i jus had to deal with it
even if it hurts...

saying i love you
is not the words i want to hear from you
how easy it would be to show me how you feel
more then words

today

2006-10-28T19:38:00.000+08:00

i went to anna's and emile's house today to bake cookies and at the same time check out anna's room... man their house is super huge... like did i say huge... ya i did... i reached at like 8.30 sharp... and zoa and naomi came like at 9.15... i made quite a mess cos i tilted the mixing thingy to an angle and the batter flew out like no ones business... lol then zoa, naomi, anna, sarah, shaun and me we were playing hide-and-seek... i mean the house is so big like we could hide anywhere la... at first zoa and naomi and anna hide behind the altar cloth and i was too scared to lift up the cloth so i got sarah and shaun to go there at first we did not know but then i felt smt wrong and told shaun to go into lift up the cloth... and sure enought they were there... squatting like idiots... lol... then we played cards and shaun kept winning and finally anna won then i won lol... woo

2006-10-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

okay now its really long long time no see... lol... just finished exams like two weeks ago... can go onto sec 4... really lucky... if it had not been for my friends in church and esp zoa, naomi, jon and all the people at the choir... i would have failed like flat on my face... and its been a long lone time since i wrote in here... cos of studies and stuff... really felt the pressure of failing my n and o levels and not being able to advance to the next lvl and stuff... oh ya and i found out i actually had a talent 'SINGING'. not that i did not have singing background or whatsoever. but i thought i lost it along the way cos i stopped for a long time... now i came back and found i could actually hit a c a high c... shocking for me... i mean tomboy last time can sing... woo... but ya... now getting confirmed and this few months have been a busy one... loads of things have been happening... and my love life really sucks... love, family, studies, parents, friends, church all took a toll on me man... really tired now... but god gave me the strength to go on... and i hope i can come back soon and rite all the things that will happen to me in the near future... listening to a great song now called wherever you go... sang by jon and played by charles really cool and loads of emotion song... i mean like jon sang with so much emotion that it sounded like he was singing to a certain person... like ya... certain person... lol... shan't disclose too much... lol...

Wherever you go I will go.
Wherever you live I'll be with you.
Wherever you lie I'll be there beside you.
Wherever you go I'd be there.

long time no seeeee

2006-05-22T16:23:00.000+08:00

hallooo... long time no see... i failed my chem... got 24/100... wad did i do to deserve this???yah also failed maths... and chinese... and yah... jus read a good book... yah really good... it is the DA VINCI CODE... yah... woohoo anywayteh book like stinks... so unreal... dots... yah christianity rocksssss..... yah... shouldn't question one's religion... dots... no link at all..... hahaha.... but the book is good... and i wanna watch the movie but can't go in cos i'm not 16 and i'm not even 15 yet.... WAAA.... hahaha ok... now 2c is also doin haunted house and it so doesn't rock... but it is okkkk... u know cos 1e will obviously have more customers... hahaha... i gtg bye...

hallo

2006-03-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

today we had cheerleading practice.... and it was like so hot... we did a basket toss... and nic went like sooooo high... my god i didn't think we could do it....

i not stupid too

2006-01-26T13:32:00.000+08:00

haha... i jus watched i not stupid too yesterday and it like so rawk... Shawn and Joshua... oh my god they are so cute... they look so... so...so dame hot...oh my god... i wanna watch again... like the whole story was so touching and the part when 'tom' was getting caned oh my god i so cried...

happy b'dae mei

2005-12-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

today its veron's birthday and jus wanna wish her happy birthday!!

today is such a boring day

2005-12-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

dame i'm so bored at home... i wanna go out... man but today is the six day i watched mulan... and it is in a row... haha... but i can't wait 'till weekend... so i can watch mulan 2nd... btu i'm just worried that it'll come late...

hey

2005-12-14T12:24:00.000+08:00

hallo... today is the 5th day i watch mulan and it is five days in a row... but i know i better stop cos if i continue watching i jus can't wait for e second one to reach me cos the ppl r so dame slow in bringing it to me... niwaez today i got not much to say but i wanna watch MULAN!!!

who i am

2005-12-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

look at me, do u think u could see who i really am... but u'll never know me........... i'll never pass for a perfect bride nor a perfect daughter... can it be i was never meant to play this part... now i see if i can fool the world i can't fool myself... who is that gal i see, staring straight back at me... why is my reflection someone i don't know... somehow i cannot hide, who i am though i try, when will my reflection show who i am inside ..... okok not that i am a bride or wad but i so love this song... anyway i just ordered the mulan two cd... can't wait to watch... man i love the movie so much... so so much...OMG e captian is cute... anyway christmas is drawing nearer... and i can't wait... but tomorrow is megan's b'dae party... BUT e person who should be here is not... and that person is NICK... nick if u read this u suck... haha jkjk... anyway its so late already...should sleep...

hi

2005-12-07T15:07:00.000+08:00

hihi today i went to j8 with my cus... arita,and corinne... it was so cool...like we take neoprints... and all that stuff... now i'm at arita's hus eating food... diao haha so fun niwaez can't wait for christmas to come and christmas i'm gonna stay at my cus house...

got my results

2005-11-17T05:53:00.000+08:00

oh man... today i got my results and... man i got wad i wanted... yah... it is like soo cool... man thats so rocks... oh man tomorrow i'm gonna watch HARRY POTTER... yah... oh man Daniel is sooo cute... i'm gonna have an awsome time at e cinema man... sooo cool and the best thing is that i don have ta pay... whao... cool yah

everyone

2005-11-04T03:55:00.000+08:00

hallo again............... man e year is so gonna end soo soon............... this year passed soo quickly but i still haveta go back to school for some shitin remidial ahhhhhhhhhhh....................i hate school... so shit ..................i don feel like goin back to school..............anyway our genting trip will be in 17 daes sooo long ahhhh.................... genting...school...genting...school...genting...school...genting...school

hey me again....

2005-10-27T03:08:00.000+08:00

hey today donno y i feel soo weird..... if u did't know me and amanda fought again......... like duh... anyway i think i have e rite to be angry or wad ever.......... but she backstab me larh something like wad megan and nick shit any she denies it ever megan says she is lyin anyway i was quite pissed off with nick but.............. ok nvm but i feel that in every relationship or friendship i am always e one sayin sorri............... but it is not that thay betrayed me or wad ............ she has e cheek to be angry with me man...... cos of this i avoided her by not goin to charolin lorhs and wadever............. and it is not like e first time man

today Sick

2005-10-27T02:42:00.000+08:00

OMG..... i'm sick again....... lets see how many times have i been sick for e pass few days...... waaaa since last week like 5 time already............ OMG i'm really sick pron man.....hahaha..... anyway if i'm sick today it means that i miss the borin photoshop thingy in my school today........ yahhhh....haha lets see today will be 25 more days to e genting trip, sooo happy wow.......... than gonna go KL shoppin OMG can't wait............... and yah jus now mr seng called to ask me abt my choosin of subjects ............ thats not so bad but he called when i was sleepin ............

NOW

2005-10-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

NOW we're havin a dame BORIN lesson on photoshop................ and it is freakin cold in here.............BRRRR..... wad de hell.................. anyway it is our break now soo i think it is gonna end soon...... but this course is not gonna end till like 5 or 5.30 ...............ahhh i'm stuck here in the cold ................but i think theres gonna be another break until then i'd be frozen!!

Sick

2005-10-20T19:21:00.000+08:00

hahaha todayi miss school again hahahaha.................but it's cos i was sick hahahaha..............sooo happi i don need to retain hahaha and it's been 1 week since i wrote in here hahaha .............so much for my promise hahaha anyway gonna stay at my aunts house tomorrow........can't wait man its gonna be so FUN!!

NO SCHOOL YAHHHH

2005-10-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

Today there is no school yahhhh.......... haha and e exams r finally over yahhhh haha........ ohhhh gosh no more exams until next year May haha........... last night was soo hot as in hot temperature hot wow i was like turning over and over can't sleep larh................ hahaha and anyway like i promised after exams i'll try to rite everyday ..................haha

Science todae sux

2005-10-11T09:54:00.000+08:00

hey today science sux like helll cos i don know shit.......... all i know is that i was dame tired larh.......haha tired during exam is a natural thing.. haha... ok dame lame but during the exam i was like dreamin larh................................ ok now back to reality yah... lol... earth to lynn...

Wrong one

2005-10-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

today i was suppose to go to the post office to pay some bills and guess wad...................i went to the wrong place and made a fool of myself larh and OMG wad the hell and i had to walk all e way up to another level to get to the proper place larh.........................wow tomorrow going to church... wow soo fun can't wait to go larh... church is e BEST place on EARTH man..................Monday is my science paperand i am sooooo scared that i'll fail larh.................. even i study soooo dame hard i will still fail CONFIRM plus chop ..............anyway i prayed soooo hope for a mirical lorhs and hope my teacher doesn't seee my mistakes...lol

today i missed chinese paper yah

2005-10-08T06:00:00.000+08:00

today i missed chinese paper haha...... cos i'm sick larh..... or else i must go school right??...... anyway today i wanna go church soooo yah and today rox cos it is a fryday yah and i can chill out with my fwends esp megan cos nick likes her... RIGHT... wad in e world was i talking abt... NO link AT ALL... lol

Litreture

2005-10-07T14:54:00.000+08:00

today is lit paper...... cool larh but kindda borin too.... i also don have much to say cos i've benn studyin 4 sooo many days and the exam trend has been eatin up all e ideas in my brain...................haha............ anyway exams r comin to an end SOON........... how i wish it would finish NOW but yah gotta get back to my studing now...

Sick again

2005-10-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

Hey...... such a long time not typin in here liao....... cos i've been sick 4 e past few day..... anyway it is not e past few day larh it is like e past few weeks larh.......hahaha.........but need to study 4 exams wad...... so no time..........now exams liao and tomolo is history which like sucks larh cos i don even knowwade hell they r tokin abt ..... waaaaa gonna die liao confirm fail one lorhs anyway it is jus one subject wad so nvm lorh............gotta get back to studyin liao and jus wanna say i miss u k(as in my blog) and i promise that after my exams i will try to rite everyday k

SICK

2005-09-20T03:21:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... todae i am sick, and i'm feelin soooo horrible............. but on e other hand i did't have to go to SCHOOl............ oh my god how i hate that word SCHOOL................. sometimes SCHOOL rox, but most of e time it SUX.............. hahahaha............... last nite nick asked me to record something to let megan hear and i feel that its dame LAME............... hahaha.......... but can seee that he really likes her larh................ but sometimes toooooo romantic larh................. hahaha............. but thats e power of love..............anyway hope that tomorrow i can go back to that place cos i don't want to feel so horrible........... weird rite hahaha

happi

2005-09-19T16:56:00.000+08:00

wwaaa...............today is monday; and it is a boring dae but i still feel happi cos..................maybe because of gods grace...............hahaha..............well to day i wasn't feelin well so i came home str.....or else i would have gone out to study or something .................but too bad, i had stomach ache and had to come home and study....................but i also feel like goin church leh..............like i go church god give me graces...................hahaha ohhhh wadever

today

2005-09-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

hey today is the first time i'm riting here and i'm feelin sooo happy i don know y,maybe cos i just came back frm church larh................ so i feel that i'm the most blessed gal on earth cos i know GOD loves me more than anything................... i just came back frm camp like two weeks ago and i love the camp like siao and i miss camp this is like the best camp in my life.................. with all the singing, praise and worship, confession, touch time, and so on this camp rox...................