exactly one week to the 1st paper of n's, somehow i'm like super scared but i dunno what to do. i know i'm not stupid or slow, i'm just
lazy. gosh hate that word. i feel i can't do ss and chinese. and i'm worried i can't do my english well enough. i feel like i'm not putting enough effort not enough time. i'm like super hopeless. parents are out of town and want me to take care of kids and studies. how?? how?? why is it that they don't understand my stress. i don wanna go to ite. never. PERIOD. there is no way am i gonna step in there. put it this way i'll rather jump of the building than go to ite or retain. can you imagin the shame?? can you imagin the time wasted?? i just hate talking about studies or the stress i'm feeling, cos this other feeling inside which is something like feeling like crying comes so strongly. sometimes i feel like going back to cut myself. but i know its not the right way cos its stupid. there should be other ways of handling stress. DUH you fool. i wish i were a clever person and never need to worry about stress or studies or relationship problems.
LONGS