didn't go to school today. and cos of that am feeling the pressure of o's now. like should have gone la. but anyway, whats done is done. trying to look for the real me now. haven actually found it yet. hope it comes real soon. like i never wanted things to turn out this way but ya. now i gotta start from scratch. my calculator died on me a few days back. damn suay. haven gotten it fixed yet. don't know what am i waiting for. haha. have been missing mass lately. like i cannot get in touch with god anymore. there no light at the end and i can't seem to know where i'm heading. i somehow don't feel god's precence and i don't feel his love anymore. it's already end march and i know that if i don't find him, my o's are a goner. why is it that everything is turning out this way. why must life be this tough. why? i really really want the happiness i had last time when i could feel god strongly in my life. is it all gone now?