am i lucky or am i lucky. I'M GONNA KOREA!! i mean seriously, i couldn't go for all the years i was in secondary school cos i had many and i mean many records. but this year its different. woohoo. i feel so proud of myself i feel like crying. sniff... lol drama. okay lets give him a name Jo. so one day a girl was on her way to school and Jo sat beside her as usual. but they don't talk. so on that day when she got off the bus he and his friend got off too cos its their stop too. duh. okay but they sat down at the stop which they don't usually do cos they walk to school. then when this girl boarded her other bus they got up and walk away. right girlfriend you know what i'm talkin about. lol. haha

my start of something new is not like that in the movie but that daddy and mummy have officially started the shop and though it is tiring its worth it just to make my parents happy. we had some problems with the locks but other than that nothing much happened. the shop is still rather bare cos uncle and aunty just cleared the stocks and more are coming in. i remembered that when i was 'dealing' with the lock we just couldn't seem to get it in to position. and i took over and just before i slammed the gate down i was like holy spirit help me. and man did it work. at that point i was happy and than the pain set in. i could not hold the gate down for long. and my dad was trying to get to me fast i felt my hands shake and remembered how heavy it was. oh and the ice cream container's chain was out of place and i had to put my hand under the container and put the chain right and the rust all got on to my hand and i remember how disgusted i felt but i knew i couldn't complain, didn't want my parents to worry. speaking about worrying, last night i told daddy to wake me up at 430 so i could go down with them and help. i remembered waking to the sound of kakak voice saying it was 6 and i was like huh 6 already. and i rushed to change and wash up and went down in a few minutes and i ask why they did not wake me up and my mom said they wanted me to sleep more. frankly i was touched, no truth is yes, very touched. my mom didn;t wanna wake me up cos i was gonna have my exams coming up. but sometimes they've gotta rest too. they'v got their jobs to handle too. so from now on i gotta try be more responsible. help them even when they do not need help.

okay this happen like yesterday. this unnamed girl practically went mad, a sin not literally la but like come on. we were in the gym and i told her to move in front abit and she shouted to ah lum to move infront and ah lum said she couldn't cos the people infront had no space. so i sat down and i said stop it children. so this is the start of the madness and like later when i asked zoa if n's were gonna be held in the hall cos like o's may be on too. then before zoa answered she turned around shouting 'yes n's will be held in the hall.' and i was like what the heck is wrong with you. and she was like whats wrong with me. and back in class she was like i don wanna sit beside you and i was like fine than you can move. and she moved to some other girls table and started crying and started telling people what happened but zoa said that she was spinning another story but heck and she told lao zhang and ms teo and lao zhang came to talk to me and zoa was like find out before you say anything. i didn't have the mood to talk to her cos like if she talks to me its like as if i'm in the wrong and she was like since you guys are class mates don't be like that and i was like why you telling me i'm not in the wrong, i'm not the mad one. go tell the freako. and she seriously can't talk she let her emotions overcome her and caused me zoa and cherie to be late. she can't even convince a teacher to let them sign the form eariler and zoa and i can. talk about an ass she is one heck of an ass. i mean the reason i'm writing this is cos no one in school has my url but even if they happen to come across my blog, heck! lol

in mid nov we, ijym, organised a trip to the philippines and when sherlyn asked us why we wanted to go, all and i mean all exp the ijym members said they wanted to help. but i thought it was a stupid answer cos like we can't do anything to help. people have been going there to help for years and its almost the same as now. i was thinking of what answer to give and i just ask god to tell me the reason why i wanted to go. and i said cos i just wanted to see the smile on their faces. sherlyn told us the kids treat us like queens and princesses. lol imagin. but sherlyn also said that the kids there have kutus in their heads and i was like what the heck, if i get it than get it la. its not like i've never gotten them before. in sec 2, mei mei had them from some kid in school and like i was the first one to find out she had those things. cos she was like jie jei itchy and when i saw those tiny eggs i was like what the ****. and the night before, she slept on my bed with me. i freaked out but we have the technology to get rid of them without cutting our hair and they don't. okay, now as i was saying, they maybe kids but their humans too. 6 year old kids should not be going out there looking for food. imagin yourself doing that at that age. everyone deserves to lead a good life like we do. some of us think 'oh, my life is so bad and this and that.' but we don't realise that there are people out there as good as us but don't have the chance to show the world. some kids living in the dumpsite maybe as clever as those in RI or RGS. they maybe as bright but just lack education. so people out there, live your life well for there are other who wanna learn but don't have the chance. so give life your best shot, do the right thing.

today it 19 days to the other half of n's. maybe i'm being an ass or something but i'm very very worried for my english. i donno why but i've got no faith in my letter writing. i feel so much doubt in my heart and mind. so many things are happening but its like nothing is happening. its like everytime i turn another corner turn to gray. sometimes i just feel like crying so bad but control myself cos crying means weakness. not that its bad being weak but i don like the feeling of weakness. i remember reading an email which says follow your dreams and just take your time. i'm just wondering if my mom would let me follow my dreams. she wants me to go on to uni but i'm worried that i'll let my parents down. few weeks ago i spoke with ahyi and she reminded me about how much my parents love me and cared for me. recalling last time my dad would fetch me from kindergarten either my walking or driving if he walked there he would carry me until i was 6. and at 6 i was tall i mean for my age. everyone should cherish what they have now if not one day when they are gone you'll regret it.

3 days of exams, major exams. and 2 days rest. yea right rest. going out is rest. not. still super tired. going to sentosa today, later. yesterday went bowling and watched movie with mommy. evan almighty rocks. 'if you ask god to give you strength, he won't give it to you. but he will give you opportunities to be strong.' or 'if you ask god for the family to be close, will he give you warm feeling, fuzzy? no. he will give you opportunities to be close.' come to think about family closeness, when i was younger i use to fight with gabriel for the slightest reason like he took my doll or something and we would like fight like kick and punch that kind of thing. and everytime i ask him to help me take something or whatever he wouldn't. but now i realise how close we've become and like at night when i ask him to close the curtain he would do it. or sometimes i wanna sleep on top and tell him to get off in a rude way he would still get off. maybe as we grow older we understand better and help each other. evan almighty rocks, his oldest son is soooo sooo cute!!