today it 19 days to the other half of n's. maybe i'm being an ass or something but i'm very very worried for my english. i donno why but i've got no faith in my letter writing. i feel so much doubt in my heart and mind. so many things are happening but its like nothing is happening. its like everytime i turn another corner turn to gray. sometimes i just feel like crying so bad but control myself cos crying means weakness. not that its bad being weak but i don like the feeling of weakness. i remember reading an email which says follow your dreams and just take your time. i'm just wondering if my mom would let me follow my dreams. she wants me to go on to uni but i'm worried that i'll let my parents down. few weeks ago i spoke with ahyi and she reminded me about how much my parents love me and cared for me. recalling last time my dad would fetch me from kindergarten either my walking or driving if he walked there he would carry me until i was 6. and at 6 i was tall i mean for my age. everyone should cherish what they have now if not one day when they are gone you'll regret it.